Do moms take days off?

To say I've been stressed lately would be an understatement. Sleep deprived and constantly feeling less than stellar at my job, I've been neglecting myself a bit. So, I decided last weekend I would take today off.

Challenge #1: if I take a day off and put Jack in daycare am I a bad mom?

Challenge #2: mr growth spurt has used up my whole milk supply ... So I must pump lots today

Challenge #3: to do list- groceries, clean car, nap, fold wash, pedicure, brows, haircut....,and pump!

What's a mom to do? This was my "day off"
- decided I'd take some time to myself but first enjoy a leisurely morning with Jack. Verdict: win. He had more nursing time and the morning was unrushed with extra cuddle and play time.

- went to a yoga class. Verdict: win. Karen taught a beautiful class and it helped me clear my head.

- lunch at home and out to get my pedi. Verdict? Neutral. Pedi was lovely but I wanted to be quiet and enjoy the massage chair and instead the guy yabbered on about his life to me. But still happy I went. As are my toes!

- to Wegs for groceries and a second lunch (breastfeeding makes me hungry!) of their fabulous sushi and a piece of dark chocolate. Became very tired at this point. Decided to skip the haircut, pump and go home. Verdict: win, I was very tired and needed a nap. And I truly love grocery shopping... Weird only to those of you that arent blessed with a weggies.

- get home. Time to unload groceries, fold wash, then a nap. I decide to only do a half hour because i really want to pick jack up early. Verdict: not a win. I could have slept more because jack was sleeping when I got there! And as hard as I tried to not disturb he popped
Awake as a put him in his carseat. Alas.

All in all- great day. Lesson? Go with the flow, make decisions from joy not guilt and joy will
Follow!

PS: more cuddles at home and the little guy went back down!


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Work in progress

So it seems I'm a little short tempered these days at work. I'm trying to figure out what's eating me. I think I'm already feeling like I'm not doing a very good job balancing work and home and it's making hearing criticism or getting assigned work hard for me. And then I leave work mad at myself for getting short with others .... Bad pattern.

I wish: I felt good at my job and good at being a mom.

I will be grateful for: the fact that I'm blessed with a job and a family!

(also the homeopathic teething stuff is helping me and Jack get more sleep)

Trying out : remembering I'm a work in progress - never complete always improving, so not needing to be perfect.

Any advice?





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Tips for teething??

I wish: for sleep

I will be grateful for: the new mattress we bought that I hope to sleep on some day

How long does teething last??

Trying out: boiron homeopathic remedy for teething. Anyone tried it?




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Flow parenting - not alone!

Ok! There are experts who aren't into this whole training thing and believe in go with the flow parenting! Hallelujah!

Check out www.askdrsears.com.




The basic tenant is the same - parent YOUR child. Get to know them the very best you can so you can parent intuitively!

Although I won't follow all the suggestions, but I will subscribe to the principles and feel joy in finding a parent community I can relate to!

How do you find joy in community in your life?

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Go with the flow

I tried at first putting jack on a schedule like the baby whisperer suggests. I found I was so stressed put that I couldn't get him to conform to eating every three hours or napping an hour and a half 10times a day.



Jeez, when you think about it, he's a person, and everyday will be different for him. Heck, I don't feel the same way everyday, why should he?

So, new mindset. I've decided my job as a mom is to get to know him the best I can. And from that knowledge I promise to help him be his happiest best self. Some days that might mean comfort nursing when he has a tummy ache or extra playtime when he's energetic. I hope if I teach him to tune into and foster his natural energy then I'm giving him the best lessons for a content life!

So cheers to the joy of listening and observing. Out with training and somebody's idea of normal who doesn't even know him!

What rules do you break in favor of your gut feel?

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Fit update

I've been doing yoga twice a week now and I'm starting cardio this week. Yoga has been a phenomenal place to start because it allows me to appreciate already the gains I'm making, but also where my pregnancy made me stronger! Yesterday I discovered that I can hold a forearm plank way longer than I could last year - pretty cool! My body is completely different. Pigeon pose (a hip opener) used to barely challenge me - now,


yowza!


So in my journey back to fit i'm finding joy in relearning my body and gratitude for my yoga practice in making that happen. And, I've lost 30 lbs so far :-)

How do you foster your mind-body connection?


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It's the little things...

Yesterday I took a shower. Yup. Why so special? I took one with just me and jack in the house. First time! He has started a pattern where he takes s two hour nap late morning and I thought ah hah, I'm going to be smart and get a nice shower in. Good thing too be ause he woke up as soon as I got out ( apparently he didn't get the memo about alleging two hours). Joy of the day: seizing precious moments to take care of yourself!

How do you seize moments in your day for self care?


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A superficial joy

My joy of the day is not deep in anyway but so practical for a new mom: online ordering. I realized i needed diapers and wipes, we were running low on vitamins, the dog needed dental treats... What's a time and sleep starved mom to do?

Amazon.com- ordered one big box, free shipping, arrived in two days. Perfect!!! And of course all ordered with one click ordering from my iPhone!


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Joy of music

Omg, this song in yoga nearly brought me to tears - postpartum hormones anyone!??? It truly sums up how I feel today!






http://www.amazon.com/May-I-Suggest/dp/B0019AXKRU



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Intuition

Newborns, I'm realizing, are totally intuitive beings They have needs to sleep, eat, and ... Well sleep and eat! And based on those, they pursue a path to get those needs met... Which often involves fussing!

Jack inspires me to live a more intuitive life (minus the fussing). I'm trying to start with how i am as a mom. Really hard when there are books and web posts on everything to do with parenting!

But there are no experts who know jack better than I do...so my priority is not timing sleeps and nursings, but getting to know his moods, his cries, and hopefully do a better job being there for him.

How does intuition guide you in your life?



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Journey back to fit

During my pregnancy I exercised regularly. I truly believe that 1, this helped me stay sane, and 2, was key to a natural and smooth labor. One of the hardest things for me mentally was to lose "ability" over time. So, first trimester I was spinning and doing cardio 30 minutes twice a week and by 32 weeks I was down to two power yoga sessions and two 20 minute light cardio sessions. By 36 weeks it was just the power yoga plus walking. At 38 weeks it was just walking.

Now I'm heading back the way I came, instead of trying to go back right where I was when I got pennant and getting frustrated, I've decided to build back my routine changes in reverse - and i will find joy in the journey back, each regaining of ability will be a celebration. This week I completed two power yoga sessions plus alternate day walks! I'll keep this routine until 6 weeks postpartum and then bring back a cardio session - working back to 2...

Will share as i go...

How do you find joy in respecting your body's abilities?

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Nothing like a newborn to remind of the joy of rest

Here's a good example of why I've changed the focus of this blog- it changed my own frame of mind. Instead of writing about exhaustion i will instead focus on how not taking sleep for granted has helped me rediscover the joy of rest!

I pick rest over sleep because, well sleep is harder to focus on, but rest can be a breath, a snooze, a pause... And it can be savored.

Here's what I'm working on to rest
- sleep when the baby sleeps (old and sage advice)
- ask my husband when I need help
- give myself permission to take time for me (in my world that means time for yoga, showers, eating and reading)

What do you do to incorporate rest into a crazy life?

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Joy of movement

I've been doing yoga for 8 years, I did it twice a week throughout my pregnancy, even the day I went into labor. So 10 days after giving birth I am more than ready to get moving again!

So today i did a half hour practice at home. Oh, it felt so good! To forward bend and feel my nose at my shins, to stretch my side body, to feel my abs and twist how ever i wish.... Yum! Can't wait to get back into the studio!

But, for now, joy of the day, getting back to movement through my yoga practice at home.

Try it! http://www.amazon.com/Shiva-Rea-Daily-Energy-Vinyasa/dp/B002IVLWCE






How do you find joy in movement?


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A focus on joy

Well after good intentions to write consistently during my pregnancy, I resigned myself to the fact that , well, I was just too darned tired, hot and swollen! But now, I've got this beautiful boy (I made him myself :-) ) and I've decided to work on writing a few times a week focused on something during the day that gave me joy. Why? One, I'm determined to not get lost in sleep deprived baby blues. Two, this is a joyful time to be shared, and, three, who wouldn't want to read about joy?


So, today's joy of the day is: Jack, my new son!


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My Perfect Airline: Affordable, comfortable, transparent and friendly

I mentioned last week that I think there is a big opportunity for airlines to get good service at an affordable price down right.  I think what I'd like to do is take my favorite things from certain airlines and make up my own company... and take the things I can't stand and make them GO AWAAY.

My Perfect Airline: Affordable, comfortable, transparent and friendly - where are you?

1. affordability
This is key.  I want an airline that does everyday low pricing.  There are a couple of grocery stores that have done this very well - no sales, no gimmicks, just transparent pricing.  Some car dealerships have done this too.  Its time for the airlines to do consistent pricing that customers can count on day in and day out.  From what I can tell, AirTran does the best at this - they show what you pay online if you buy sooner, what you pay if you buy a little later and so on.  First come, gets the better price, but its totally transparent.  Unlike JetBlue which changes their pricing as you get closer or pick a holiday or tickets run out and you don't get a sense of the value you get by buying sooner.

A note on upgrades - Delta makes you upgrade to an upgradeable coach fare before upgrading to first class.  How stupid is that?  Again, AirTran does this right, so does Continental - if there are upgrades available, they are up for grabs for a low and reasonable cost

2. comfort
Especially being pregnant of course I'm really paying attention to such things.  Decent padding, leg room, recline - all important.  Even better - be consistent like JetBlue - all the planes have basic comfort standards - love that.

3.  food
I'm okay if there's no food on short flights, what I'm not okay with is crap food.  If you're going to do food, make it good.  Best ones here - JetBlue snacks are quite good, and I love that you get a choice.  Even better - tell me what I can expect for food when I book my ticket so I can plan accordingly

4.  service and smiles
I'm a total sucker for the flight attendants and pilots who are happy, and have a great sense of humor.  Lets face it, traveling is not fun, thanks to those who try to add a little happy to an otherwise tense experience.  The rest of you - lighten up!

Musings from a week away

I've been away on vacation this week. Every march we visit my grandparents in Florida. Lots of time to think and reflect - I'll share a few thoughts and quickly and elaborate more in the next few days. As I write this I'm on my iPhone so apologies in advance for any bad typos!

1. There is a big opportunity for airlines to get good service at an affordable price down as a business model. And no, I don't think jetBlue or southwest have got it

2. If you are pregnant and feeling depressed about your growing self (as I was earlier this week) try getting yourself photographed by a pro- suddenly I felt beautiful and proud

3. One of the distinct advantages of living in upstate NY in the winter is when you go to Florida and it's in the upper 60s it feels fabulous! And the complaining floridians sound so ridiculous in their winter coats!

4. A vacation can still be a vacation even if you do have to work a little (caveat: this probably only applies if you like your job)

5. Competent colleagues with whom you have mutual trust and can laugh with are worth more than gold (see 4.)

6. Yoga is a lifesaver for post travel prenatal aches

7. I miss wine. A lot.

That's all for now!

Snow day

Yesterday was a snow day.  A reluctant snow day. Really!  I woke up with energy, something I haven't experienced lately despite what pregnancy experts say about second trimester.

Woke up, fed the dog, said goodbye to husband, prepared to walk dog, looked outside... saw said husband's car stuck at the end of the driveway.  Husband came up with the idea to use our SUV to unstuck his car. 

Fast forward... both cars now stuck.  Thank goodness for neighbors who don't mind pushing!

Anyhow, called into a lot of meetings, and I realized, I can get a lot done that way.  Note to self - risking life and limb to drive into work - never worth it!

The contradiction of choice

So I'm 6+months pregnant.

Stand by for canned responses.... here goes:
yes! Thanks! its a boy, june 7, we've picked a name, but not sharing just yet, I'm feeling good, nope no wierd cravings, very lucky, yes, feeling the kicking, very cool!

Anyhow, I'm quickly discovering all that I wasn't prepared for, and the baby isn't even here yet.  Case in point: registering.  Holy cow.  In my estimation there are 3 phases to the registry process, and some of these have pre-phases as well.

Pre-phase 1...First, I asked a premo organized mom friend of mine to help me register.  This turned to be a very good idea.  The first thing she did was send me registry homework.  This should have been my first warning sign.  A 8 page checklist from the big box baby store to prime me for registering, which I reviewed, and then promptly showed up at our pre-registry-planning-lunch-date (yes, she's very organized) wondering what it was we needed to do besides show up at the store and have fun with that scan gun I so enjoyed when I was registering for my wedding.

Phase 1: The pre-registry-planning-lunch-date:
Well, an hour later I realized the pre-registry planning lunch date was an important first step to prep work.  I learned that not only do I need an infant travel system but I also need a convertible car seat that change to a booster for the post infant months.  And, better get two of those, because, well, we've got two cars.  But be sure to also get a jogger stroller for outdoor walks in the park because that infant travel system which, for those who don't know like me, is composed of an infant car seat and and stroller, isn't well constructed for outdoor manuvering.  I won't bore you with 30 other examples, hopefully you get my drift.

On to phase 2: Actually going to the store..wait no, there's really a pre-phase 2.  My very wise and organized friend smartly suggested we grab dinner at 4:30 before heading to the store.  I'm thinking, well its early for dinner, but I'm pregnant and always up for a meal!  Thank goodness because little did I realized we would leave said store until 8 that night, but I won't get ahead of myself....  So note, pre-phase 2 should consist of eating, and while you're at it, pee too! 

Now, on to phase 2.

At the store it all starts innocently enough.  They take your contact info, give you the 8 page checklist in case you haven't done your pre-registry-planning-lunch-date (see notes under phase 1), and some coupons and loyalty card stuff that put in you a good mood.  Then you start at the first section, and ... wait, how many baby monitors do I have to pick from? what's the difference? video/audio/range? do they conflict with my wireless signal? ... 20 minutes later... make a decision.  Whew! Okay, staying positive, what's next? Some bibs, cute!, some bottles, bathing things... starting to feel competent again, then wham.  Car seats. There's ten to pick from? what's the pricing difference? I need to know my travel system choice first? two bases or two car seats? what's the weight maximum on that one? wait let me check... and so on.  So, picture this roller coaster of hope, confusion, anxiety, dispair, resolution, and decision occuring over and over and over again: strollers, cribs, pack n plays, carriers.  Unreal.  Phase 2 sucked.

On to phase 3.

Phase 3: I shall call this Reviewing, Tweaking, Finalizing.  I liked this phase, for one, I could do a lot of it sitting down!  I went online and started looking at reviews for my choices.  I checked in with a few other moms. I took my husband (who was so LUCKY I didn't drag him through phase 2) to review major selections.  Did some tweaking, and started feelin okay about my choices.  And for some reason, this translated into a feeling that yes, I can select items for my child, so yes, I will not be a horrible mother (preganancy hormones really are great)

All in all, its done.  My biggest learning, convert phase 3 into phase 1 and the suck-ing quotient of phase 2 would have gone down a bit.  But it was a big relief to check registering off my list.  Now a few more little deicisons like daycare, pediatrician, birth plan...  at some point I should start reading about what I need to know once the baby is born!